Laugh... laugh.... - Jokes - Doctor

A doctor and a lawyer met at a party

A doctor and a lawyer met at a party. Their conversation was interrupted repeatedly by guests asking the doctor for medical advice. Finally, the exasperated doctor turned to the lawyer and said, "Tell me, what do you do to stop people from asking you for legal advice when you're out of the office?"

"When they ask, I give them advice", replied the lawyer, "and then I send them a bill in the morning."

The doctor decided to take the lawyer's advice and for the rest of the evening wrote down the names and addresses of everyone who approached him for advice. The next morning
he took out the list, just as his secretary walked into his office and handed him a bill from the lawyer.

Good News and Bad News

An old man visits his doctor and after thorough examination the doctor tells him: "I have good news and bad news, what would you like to hear first?"

Patient: "Well, let me have the bad news first."

Doctor: "You have cancer, I estimate that you have about two years left."

Patient: "Oh no! That's just awful! In two years my life will be over! What kind of good news could you probably tell me, after this?"

Doctor: "You also have Alzheimer's. In about three months you are going to forget everything I told you."

The Wife

A woman accompanied her husband to the doctor's office.

After his checkup, the doctor called the wife into his office alone. He said, "Your husband is suffering from a very severe stress disorder. If you don't follow my instructions carefully, your husband will surely die.

"Each morning, fix him a healthy breakfast. Be pleasant at all times. For lunch make him a nutritious meal. For dinner prepare an especially nice meal for him.

"Don't burden him with chores. Don't discuss your problems with him; it will only make his stress worse. Do not nag him. Most importantly, make love to him regularly.

"If you can do this for the next 10 months to a year, I think your husband will regain his health completely."

On the way home, the husband asked his wife, "What did the doctor say?"

"He said you're going to die," she replied.

High Blood Pressure

When a physician remarked on a new patient's extraordinarily ruddy complexion, he said, "High blood pressure, Doc. It comes from my family."

"Your mother's side or your father's?" I asked.

"Neither," he replied. "It's from my wife's family."

"Oh, come now," I said. "How could your wife's family give you high blood pressure?"

He sighed. "You oughta meet 'em sometime, Doc!"

Four-Letter Surgery

Jerry is recovering from day surgery when a nurse asks him how he is feeling.

"I'm OK but I didn't like the four-letter-word the doctor used in surgery," he answered.

"What did he say," asked the nurse.

"OOPS!"